A Good Body Image Is Caught, Not Taught
This Sunday at church, my pastor pointed out that most of what we learn from our parents is caught not taught. It’s pretty true right?
The older I get, the more I seem to do things that my parents did… good, bad or otherwise.
This couldn’t be more true about body image. Studies show that having a good relationship with food and body is not taught, but caught.
This means that even if your parents said kind and supportive words to you about your own body, or made no commentary at all, the way that they felt about their own bodies and how it was reflected in their actions or their words has a far greater impact on your body image than what they say or don’t say.
For example, even if your mom did not criticize your body (and let me say, I’m so sorry if she did, that is painful), you may have seen her stand in front of the mirror and smoosh her own body in different places, letting out a sigh of frustration. Or she may have said “I’m so fat,” or didn’t want to be in pictures or hid behind you to hide her body, or maybe she tried to change her own body through dieting. Maybe you heard her talk about calories or fat or carbs or sugar in a negative way.
Now while your mom’s intention was to take care of and feel good about herself, she was unintentionally sending messages to you about bodies and food and what is acceptable and what is not.
What messages did you catch about bodies, fat, size, and food from watching your parents?
Now I want you to think about:
What do you want YOUR kid(s) to catch from you with regard to food and bodies?
Naming our intentions can be so powerful. Do you want them to live a life free from food and body struggles? Do you want them to not worry about everything they put in their mouths? Do you want the scale to have no power over their mood or self worth?
We live in a tricky society that is very oriented towards dieting and a thinner is better mentality, so I don’t want to make any parent feel like we have total control over how our kids body image is shaped…just like anything else in life. But we can have a positive impact and give them a solid foundation at home, and a lot of that is based on what they see us do, more so than what we say.